Love Poems and Slam Potions
by signelchan
Summary: Maki causes trouble for herself when she wanders into a poet night; Himiko causes more trouble for her because she knows the exact boy Maki gives a poem about. And naturally, Kaito causes even more trouble by merely existing in her heart.


The campus was awash with activity late into the evenings during final project season, as people scrambled to get a year's worth of work done in a matter of days, to ensure passage on to the next level. Everyone was doing their own thing, their projects relating back to their titles that they'd been given upon entry to the school, and it was rare that people had time to do anything aside from work or quick, passing-by conversations. That was something that Maki found herself appreciating as she was walking back to her dorm one night, after having spent until sunset wrangling children at the daycare center she was doing her project with. It gave her a great time to destress as she walked, because no one was going to see her and think to strike up a long-winded talk about nothing with her.

As much as she hated the title she'd gotten saddled with because her first pick was deemed too "risky" for the school, she was finding writing her papers about different behaviors children had in specific situations was a lot easier than she figured it would be. At any rate, the project was going a lot better than whatever she would have needed to do if she'd been allowed to enroll as an assassin, rather than a child caregiver, but that might have been the first positive she'd ever found to her fake title. While she walked, she was grumbling about the snot-nosed brats she'd been writing about, how they'd misbehaved and kicked up fusses about nothing, and then clung to her like they'd done nothing wrong when she tried to set them straight; she was so focused on venting that she missed her turn back to her dorm building and went deeper into the heart of the campus than she meant to.

Her first indication that she wasn't where she meant to be was when she saw the tall building where most of the students' classes were held. The second indication came when she could see hordes of students moving this way and that, going from the dining hall back to their rooms or to the library to work. And the third was when she found herself looking at a building she knew was off-limits during class hours alight with activity that she'd never seen before. Even though she wanted to get to her room, get out of her daycare uniform, and go to sleep, there was a curiosity building in her mind to see what kind of illegal activities were taking place in that building, just in case anyone there was someone she cared about and they were risking expulsion for what they were doing.

Finding the door was more difficult than she'd anticipated, as it was hidden behind a well-placed dumpster that was meant to deter anyone from ever entering the building. If she hadn't noticed that there was light coming from behind the dumpster when she had, she would have called it a day right then and made her way back to her room like she'd intended originally. But that light called to her, especially when she heard what sounded like thundering applause coming from inside that secret doorway. These people were doing something _fun_ and against the rules, and she needed to know who it was, what it was, and perhaps why it was, before it was shut down.

She slid in behind the dumpster, there being plenty of room between it and the wall despite looking so close, and she went down a stairway that led to the door at the bottom. Knocking a couple times to see if that would do anything, the door came open almost as soon as she'd pulled her hand away and she found herself face-to-face with a robotic pair of eyes, which started scanning her. "This person is not a member of campus staff," the robot determined, blinking its eyes and letting its face form a forced smile. "I suggest letting them enter."

"Like hell I'm going to trust your judgment!" a female voice screeched from on the other side of the door where Maki couldn't see, and in a flash the robot was pushed aside, replaced with a scowling blonde whose gaze went straight to Maki's chest before tracking up to her face. "I guess she's not a snitch, but she's still not allowed in without a password, you useless bucket of bolts!"

"I wasn't aware there was a password," Maki replied, not batting an eyelash at the erratic behavior she was witnessing. "I wasn't even aware anything was happening down here until I saw the lights, so sorry for intruding, I guess?"

The girl on the other side of the door snorted, before nearly doubling over in loud laughter, one of the robot's hands reaching over to gently pat her back in an attempt to calm her down. "I can't believe the sound of that, you thinking you're allowed to be sorry for intruding on this? It's a free, public event, dumb bitch, didn't you get the memo? I'm checking for passwords to keep anyone who might run their mouth to the wrong people from getting in, we've got some saucy stuff happening inside!"

"Coming from you, Miu, none of that sounds like a surprise." Closing her eyes and wishing she was anywhere but there in that moment, Maki knew that turning around would only result in her being chased down by the blonde, but she had zero interest in exploring the underground activity now that she knew that people had been invited to it. There wasn't any chance of expulsion with attendance, she had no reason to care any longer. "I'm going to head back now, you have fun with your orgy or whatever you've got going on."

"W-who said anything about an orgy? We're just having a slam poetry night, which I didn't know wasn't about fighting until someone told me what it meant." Standing up tall, Miu wiped a tear from her eye after her bout of laughter, which she flicked in Maki's direction, much to her disgust. "You've already come down this far, least you can do is bring that curveless body of yours in here and give some poetry a listen. My act's over, of course, but there might be another one or two that gets your pussy dripping."

"Oh boy, that's exactly what I want in my life right now," Maki sarcastically replied, pushing past Miu and watching her crumple at the physical force. She took a look around at the sparsely-filled room, noting that it was rather large so the amount of people there would have felt more at home somewhere smaller, before turning back to Miu. "Why's everyone looking over here like I did something wrong?"

Miu shrugged, but the boy sitting at the table closest to the door had an answer. "I'm not looking at you, if that makes it any better. Don't listen to a word she says about her performance, she got on stage and told us a poem about every sexual fantasy she's had this year." The slow and intentional delivery of his information made it seem like it could be trusted, and while it didn't surprise Maki in the slightest to hear of such events, having it be recounted was something that had Miu leaning against the doorway, even more taken aback than she'd been when she'd been pushed.

"I might have thought it meant that I was supposed to tell poems about bodies slamming together, and not in a fighting sense," she admitted, her voice much smaller than it had been when she'd first greeted Maki at the door. "I don't know how I got it so mixed up, but I felt great telling them all about the first time I orgasmed, and the first time I made someone—"

"Go ahead and stop right there, I'm done with you." Silencing her without even looking in her direction, Maki gave a thankful nod to the boy who'd helped her get Miu to finally shut up. "Glad you were here to set things straight, Rantaro. Don't know what I'd have done without you."

"You'd have managed, there'd have been someone else to help you if not me." He looked at her with a smile, before gesturing towards the empty chairs at his table. "Mind joining me here to listen to what everyone else has to say? I'm a good tablemate, I don't talk too much."

She considered it for a moment, but the proximity to Miu was the largest deterrent to accepting the offer. "Thanks, but no thanks, I don't see myself sticking around here too long. I'm probably going to be out of here in a few minutes anyway." There was a moment before he nodded, accepting her rejection without any further thought, and she slid deeper into the room just to see who else was around before she took her leave. There wasn't a single person there she didn't know, although there were plenty she didn't like, and she was glad that she wasn't planning on staying because there wasn't a single table there that she'd feel comfortable taking a chair at. Everywhere she looked, there was someone who got on her nerves, or someone that she knew would want to talk about childcare and her project, or worst of all, someone who would fit both categories, and she wasn't interested in testing her own patience that night.

As she snaked between the tables to see who all was there, people were taking to the stage, reciting some kind of original poetry, and then leaving the stage to the sound of the thundering applause that was much louder to be in the middle of than she'd expected. There was something about the sound that didn't seem right, but she wasn't well-versed on the workings of actual slam poetry events and couldn't tell if they were doing it wrong or if the fictional instances of snapping to applaud were what was wrong. "Oh, funny seeing you here," a bored voice said as Maki walked by the table, and she stopped to see the first person in the room she could say she genuinely liked, the little wannabe mage Himiko. "I was wondering when my 'friend retrieval' spell would take effect."

"I doubt it was me you were calling for with it, if you really cast something," she replied, not wanting to indulge too much in the fictional magic talk but also not wanting someone worse to try talking to her. "Where are your other friends?"

"Busy or they left already, those are the two answers." Himiko motioned towards the seat next to her, which was stained with splotches of what looked to be dried paint in primary colors. "I was hoping that they'd come back but it's not looking likely. But you're here now, which means I don't have to be alone any longer."

Shaking her head, Maki explained, "I'm not planning on sticking around, sorry. If you're looking for someone to keep you company, I know Rantaro's over by the door. Go sit with him, the two of you will be able to talk to each other and that'll work out for you both." She could see the disappointment in Himiko's eyes, even though the girl's facial expression did not change even slightly. "Okay, why's my answer not good enough for you?"

"You must not have seen who else is around here tonight, I can't sit closer to the door unless I want to be bullied for my magical prowess again." That was when Himiko's mouth began to tremble, but she never seemed to get close to crying. "I sat back here with Angie and Tenko because they promised to keep me safe from _him_, but they left me and now you're telling me to get closer to where he was hanging around last!"

"I didn't know that there was anyone—" Maki was cut off by the feeling of a chair getting slammed down on her foot, and in the surprise of the pain she backhanded whoever was standing next to her, as she kicked the chair off of herself. The response that came from her physical attack was a laugh, one that was trying to sound devious but came off as merely obnoxious, and she could feel her patience dropping as she looked beside her to see a boy covering his face where he'd been smacked and laughing at the same time. "—oh, that makes a lot of sense. No one deserves to be bothered by this kind of garbage."

"Garbage, that's one I've never heard before," the boy said sarcastically, rolling his eye and getting Maki to do the same in return. "I'd have thought you'd be better at coming up with insults on the fly. Kind of like you're going to be good at presenting your poem here."

"Who said anything about me being here to do a poem, Kokichi? I'm on my way out, you can't…I'm not…" As she was stumbling over what to say, she saw the devious grin on his lips, and Himiko on her other side was quietly saying something about how she didn't do a good enough job to keep him away from everyone. "You're not going to make me do anything I didn't sign up for."

"That's great, except you're dealing with a liar, and liars are _pretty_ good at getting their way. You know, with their lies." Kokichi's hand had moved to covering his mouth, but it was possible to see the upturned corners of his lips even with the obstacle. "I might have seen you come in and decided, hey, she needs to get on stage and embarrass herself, or maybe I didn't, I don't know. You can decide that for yourself."

"I'll kill you, I don't do poetry and I'm only here because I wanted to see why people were in a locked building." Miming slicing his throat with her hand, Maki attempted to turn to talk to Himiko again, but the sound of the person up at the microphone calling her name to get her to take her turn distracted her from whatever she'd intended to say. Her face was heating up, she wasn't going to let Kokichi get his way but she happened to be backed into a corner as to what to do. "I don't even have a poem, you little prick."

Kokichi shrugged, as if her being unprepared wasn't what he'd been expecting when he'd signed her up. "That sounds like a problem you've got to solve before they drag you on stage. They did that to you, didn't they Himiko?" He didn't get an answer as the smaller girl had ducked under her table the moment he'd started even looking in her direction, so he went back to antagonizing Maki the only way he could in that moment: "Just go up there and let loose on everyone. Tell us a poem about your boyfriend, no one has to know you're lying when you say it."

The way he started laughing once again, so amused with himself, only worked to make her angrier. "You know what, you're right, no one has to know I'm lying at all when I tell them a poem I'm making up on the spot. At least me giving a poem about a boy makes more sense than you giving one about anyone aside from your mom." That was what she left him on, with that insult and a threatened punch, and slowly she weaved through the tables up to the stage with everyone's eyes following her, her mind scrambling to come up with some poem. If anything, what Kokichi had said had given her somewhere to start, but she found herself struggling to come up with something good.

When she got to the stage, she was introduced by the man standing there, someone she didn't know but recognized as he sometimes walked the same path as her from his own job at the animal clinic further down the street. He gave that introduction about as overdramatically as he could, and his theatrics were the final piece of the poem puzzle that she needed to solve. There was one person she knew that was over-the-top, was someone she could wax poetic about on the fly, and that people wouldn't be able to guess she was talking about if she started talking about him right then and there. Once the microphone was in her hand, she looked out on the crowd and saw the faces she recognized, a lot that she didn't, and then a couple she wished she had never seen before, and she mentally apologized to them all for how stupid she was about to sound.

"A poem," she started, hoping that the two words would suffice as a title for what she'd come up with on such short notice. "Your stupid hair is, the same color as that dumb, eggplant emoji." She stared out at everyone blankly as they looked right back at her for a few tense moments, before the room broke out into applause at the shortness and ridiculousness of the poem she'd just presented. Without saying anything else, she set the microphone back on its stand, made a rude gesture with both hands to everyone still looking at her, and headed straight for the door, where Miu let her out without trying to stop her because she was laughing so hard.

For the rest of the time she was walking back to her dorm room, all Maki could think about was how, in the moment she needed to bail herself out of a situation most, she'd allowed herself to talk about someone she genuinely felt romantic interest in, and how no one there would ever be able to figure that out. Kokichi would probably end up taking credit for the poem, discounting any of her actual feelings and making it so that there wouldn't be a single soul who would know that Maki Harukawa actually did think that someone's hair reminded her of the emoticon used to signal sexual activities, and that she half-wished that he'd realize it and send her it.

Unfortunately for her, there was someone in the room that could piece things together, and she'd pulled herself out from under the table just long enough to have seen the seriousness in Maki's eyes as she'd delivered her poem. Himiko never had bad intentions in how she acted, and when she heard Maki's poem she knew that she was capable of doing something about it. All she needed was to get through the rest of the night, survive more of Kokichi's behavior (which was not limited to forcing people on stage, but by telling vicious lies and trying to start fights), and get back to her own room to draft out how she was going to use her very-real magic to give Maki an opportunity with her purple-haired dream boy.

This worked very well as Himiko knew said dream boy, and had seen both him and Maki in close enough contact to know that she was infatuated with him, even if she refused to acknowledge that as possible or true. Himiko might not have been the best with romantic endeavors herself, but she had definitely at least gotten past the awkward staring and flirting part with someone before—not like it was her doing the flirting, but rather being the one unaware that she was being flirted with. The least she could do was work the same kind of magic on that boy that she'd been encouraged to work on herself back then, and even though she was busy with her personal project she knew she could come up with time to make a love draught and slip it to someone.

Or, more specifically, she could invite him over to the lab she was doing her project in and have him knowingly take the draught in front of her. That was what she ended up doing, getting a brief message out to him the next morning and hoping that he'd show up without figuring out anything weird was going on or even guessing what her intentions might have been. She was doing this for Maki, who'd kept her company there at that poetry reading for a moment when she needed it most, and if it worked she was sure that her friend would be a lot happier for it.

* * *

Kaito was used to getting weird requests to go places, but usually they came with face-to-face conversation as well as an actual explanation as to what he needed to do, or where it was that he was going. This one came on a sticky note to his dorm door, and if it wasn't for the fact that the childish scrawl on it looked to be untouched, he'd have guessed that it was modified by one of the guys on his floor. Alas, what it said was the original message, and no matter how many times he read it, he couldn't make heads nor tails of what it meant for him.

"Obviously it's Himiko's handwriting, so she probably needs you to help her with something she's too small to do, or unable to do as one person," he was told after asking his loyal and trusty sidekick Shuichi for advice about the note. "Given what time of year it is, I'm going to guess it's the second one. She might just know you're not busy and need a guinea pig for her magic she's working on."

"I'm totally busy, I don't know what you're talking about! I've just, uh, gotta wait until the space administration gets back in touch with me before I can do anything else on my project!" Kaito would defend himself to his dying breath about his lack of work, because he really was trying to do something space-related for his project but was coming across legal red tape everywhere he looked. Apparently the government didn't want him sending himself to the cosmos in a personal spacecraft, no matter how many tests he did to prove the safety of the whole thing. "But if Himiko needs help, there's no one better to turn to than Kaito Momota, Luminary of the Stars! She's got hats that _have_ stars on them, you know."

"Pretty sure that's a fictional wizard thing, not a mage thing, but whatever gets you excited to help her. Just tell me how it goes once it's over, so if someone finds missing limbs and you're hiding something I know I can connect those dots." Shuichi went back to reading one of the large stack of crime files he'd gathered for his own project, and Kaito stared at him slack-jawed for a moment before letting the possibility of getting injured from being a helpful person roll off his back. The most dangerous thing Himiko could do would be accidentally cut him in half, so he told himself right then that he wouldn't get into any weird boxes when he met up with her.

Weird boxes might have been a hard pass, but drinking strange liquids? That was one that he was also wary of, but when he met with Himiko at the arranged time and place the following evening, that was what she asked from him. "I'm testing a love potion that needs a very specific kind of test," she explained, handing him a glass of what looked and smelled like soda water, but with a single heart-shaped piece of something floating in it. "In order to see if it works, I've had to select someone who, as far as I know, has no one they're in love with."

"Duh, I'm not in love with anyone, my one love's outer space!" he proclaimed, puffing his chest at the statement but recoiling when she let go of the glass and it nearly fell from his unprepared hands. "So what's it gonna do, if it works? Make me irresistible to everyone? Make me not able to resist others? Tell me about it!"

"It's not going to do anything like that, don't get your hopes up." Himiko looked at the notes she had on her table for what her concoction was supposed to do, trying to think of how to summarize them in a way that Kaito would remember. "What it should do is make you feel romantic feelings towards whoever it is that your heart desires. Which, because it's you, should mean you feel nothing at all." Looking back at him, she saw that he was already downing the drink, and she couldn't help but smile as she watched him.

The moment the last drop was gone from the glass, he set it down and wiped his lips. "Tastes just like carbonated water," he said, shuddering at the realization that he'd just drank whatever it was that she'd handed him without considering it too much. "It's kind of gross, don't think it'll sell well if that's what you're going for. Now it's supposed to not make me feel anything, right?"

"If you're honest about not liking anyone, yes, but if you're lying…"

"Who do you think you're dealing with, Kokichi? I'm not a liar, I just—I feel—hey, how fast would that stuff work, if it really did work?" Kaito could feel his heart starting to race, and he wasn't sure why that could possibly be, and his mind was telling him he had better places to be. "N-not that it _is_ working, because my one love's outer space, I'm telling you."

"I heard you the first time you said that, and it would work pretty quick, 'cause it travels right by your heart when you swallow it." Himiko had forced herself to look away from him the moment she'd accused him of lying, because she didn't want him seeing how sneaky she looked and piecing together the fact that she was trapping him in the lie she knew he was telling her. "But if it's not working now, it's never going to work, and that's just how it's gonna be. Thanks for testing it for me, Kaito."

"Y-yeah, no problem! I'm just…gonna go now, I've got some space-related work to do and you know how it is, can't do that if we're not under the stars." He wasn't sure why he felt so panicky in there, but he felt like he needed to leave or else his heart would burst out of his chest and he'd never get to achieve his dreams. Himiko didn't seem to mind his eagerness to leave too much, and the moment he had closed the door to her lab she was giggling quietly to herself, the amusement of what she'd caused enough to get her to break her usually bored demeanor for a second.

His feet were leading him somewhere, and Kaito couldn't help but wonder where, exactly, they thought it was necessary to go. He ran past the dorms, past all the school buildings, out to the edge of the campus, where he skidded to a stop and hid behind one of the brick columns that made up the school's large gate. Catching his breath, he looked out around the opened gate and saw, walking down the sidewalk with determination to get home plastered on her face, someone who made his heart slow back to normal for a second, before picking up to its racing pace once more. He'd talked to Maki a time or two about how she walked back to the school rather late some nights, but why had he remembered that and gone to meet her at the gate then, of all times?

There was a simple explanation, really, and it was not one he was going to give her if she asked him why he was there. "Oh, hey Maki Roll!" he called out with a wave as she came up to the gate, and the look of surprise to see him there that crossed her face disappeared as he tried coming closer, replaced with a disgusted glare. "Wait, where're ya going? I'm just here to keep you company!"

"That's nice, but I'm not a damsel in need of you being a gentleman and walking me back to my room. You can do whatever you were planning on doing off-campus, I won't tell anyone that you left." Shaking her head, Maki resumed heading towards her destination, but stopped a moment later when she heard him following her. "I said I don't need you walking with me, get the hint and go, jackass."

"I'm not walking with you, I've just gotta go back the same way you do." He was a terrible liar, and since Maki was already annoyed with his presence he was sure that she was picking up on that fact very well. "But since we're going the same way, maybe we could walk together? Not like together, together, but at least talking as we go?"

Her answer to his suggestion was to toss her head, long pigtails flying everywhere, and continue on her way without a word. Bringing a hand to his face to stroke his small beard, Kaito considered following her closely once again but he knew that doing so would only irritate her further, so he waited until there was a safe distance between them before he started walking as well. Even with waiting, she wasn't pleased, and soon she was stopped and turned around glaring at him once more. "I thought I told you twice now that I don't need your company. Stay away from me, I don't want you here."

"I'm just going where I need to go," he replied, not stopping walking until he was right in front of her, at which point his feet nearly froze to the ground and he found himself staring longingly into her face. This was odd, he'd never been so transfixed by her presence before, and yet…there he was, looking into her red eyes wishing that he could map them out like the stars he loved so deeply. He swallowed, trying to turn his head but finding his neck stuck exactly as it was. "I, uh, don't know why I'm lookin' at you like this, Maki Roll, but did ya know that you've got gorgeous eyes? They're kinda like—"

"Stars? Planets? Whatever astronomy bullshit you want to throw at me today?" She was still glaring, but she wasn't looking anywhere but into his eyes, and he could hear her opening and closing her mouth in an attempt to say something else after what she'd asked. They weren't going anywhere, him lost in her eyes and her lost in trying to get him to leave her alone, and there was nothing either of them could do about it.

When the voice in the back of his head told him to lean down and kiss her, he didn't dare ignore it, knowing that the voice was provided by that love potion. As he came in, gently puckering his lips like a fish out of water, Maki's eyes widened and she considered bolting, but the part of her that longed so desperately to be loved by Kaito Momota of all people was not going to let her escape without what she wanted. Their kiss was brief, ended by her turning tail and running back to her dorm at full speed, but they were both left shocked at their own ability to let their feelings mean something.

But because he'd been given that potion to test it, since he wasn't supposed to have romantic feelings, he felt he needed to go to Himiko to report the results. She was still in her lab when he got there, after meandering aimlessly around campus for a while looking at the stars and finding Maki's scowl and glare everywhere he looked, and no sooner had he told her what had happened on the walk did she give a quiet chuckle. "This is the part where I tell you that was the placebo and that you fell for it," she said, watching as he stared at her in disbelief at the admission. "I never actually made a love draught today, I just wanted to see who you'd go find if I told you I did."

"So me kissing Maki Roll out there was all me?" He didn't seem like he believed that, but when she explained that he'd taken a potion that was no more than soda water and a piece of candy, he felt more stupid than he had in a very long time. Stupid, and like he needed to go talk to Maki about what that kiss meant for them both.

Before he could leave, though, Himiko had one last piece of information to give to him, relating back to why she'd set her mind on getting Kaito to see the light in the first place. It was something to do with one of those dumb symbols people loved sending on their phones, and how Maki happened to think of his hair (and so, by extension, him) when she saw a vaguely phallic vegetable one getting passed around. He wasn't sure how to take that news, knowing what that eggplant meant when people sent it, but he thanked her for relating it to him and went on his way, the thought of Maki actually _liking_ him and most likely _wanting_ that kiss driving him to get back to his room and come up with how to proceed with their potential relationship.

He'd never thought about dating someone before, always being focused on his goals and aspirations, but he'd make an exception for a cute, violent girl like Maki any day of the week.

* * *

**A/N: written for the momoharu day on twitter!**


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